Monday, October 31, 2011

Why so Contentious?

A friend of my family’s was a Clerk of the Court in the Los Angeles area for 30+ years, and often she would make the following point when the subject of Family Court and or Child Support would pop up. Her position was, basically: “If people could privately settle their personal affairs in a civil and respectful manner, there would be no need for Family Court”
Now of course, this opinion makes perfect sense, but as we all know, at least as often as they do, people do not make much sense. Today, I replied to a comment(s) posted at a newspaper website by a woman in New Mexico, who seemingly proudly and loudly proclaimed: “I am owed over $50,000 in child support. I have been trying to work with NM Child Support for many years. Somehow the payment went down”. Now this gal’s comment(s) was posted in response to an article about how New Mexico’s Governor proclaimed that the State is extending a “child support crackdown Statewide“. This commenter has had, apparently, ongoing problems with the NM Child Support Collection Department in it's efforts to extract subsidy for the gal in the form of child support from her ex-husband. I replied to this woman’s comments with one statement and one question: "First, be careful stating in public that YOU are owed child support arrearages; that is SUPPOSED to go to the kids, and the Court might not like the way you stated you‘re owed child support” - And secondly, I asked: “Why didn’t Dad get the kid(s) in the first place, then you wouldn‘t have had to deal with all that frustration?” - Of course the woman doesn't need to answer the question (though I'm hoping she will) because anyone who knows the nightmare of Family Court and Child Support Collection knows that Mom gets the kids over 90% of the time when juvenile children are involved in divorce or custody cases.
Not half the time, or 75% of the time, over 90% of the time. As I always say, until society and the Family Law Industry change their posture from the current one of fiscal custody being most important, to physical custody (and truly strive for the best interest of the child) being paramount, nothing else in Family Law will change and the bias against men and fathers will remain as the status quo. More dangerous is the fact that unless changes are made in this regard, our society will keep trudging down its dusty road to oblivion as more and more Dads are removed from the homes they share with their kids via Court Order....I await a response from New Mexico……..